NYC’s unemployment rate just broke 10%. But if there’s one thing non-socialist media has taught me, it’s that gloomy unemployment numbers always mask happy truths. For example, last time they spiked I learned it was because tens of thousands of people had resumed looking for work due to a spontaneous and therefore correct hunch that the economy had improved.
In that spirit, here are some theories as to why NYC’s jobless stats are inflated:
- New Yorkers are arrogant, so only the most pathetic among them humor telephone surveys.
- Educated housewives are ashamed of their unfeminist roles and so identify as “unemployed” instead.
- Brooklyn Hipsters take the summer off by choice, in order to attend rock concerts.
- Single Manhattanites erroneously count their cats as “household members.”
- The Labor Department erroneously counts lawyers and bankers as people.
