Blocks apart on Mansur Street in Lowell: old mansion, new mansion.
if you work late then you are a good person
The Times has a big piece about foreclosure profiteers in Florida. One of the more humungously rich lawyers defends himself:
“Should I feel ashamed that I have built a successful practice? No one references how committed I am, how I built my firm and how I work 20 hours a day.”
retraction
I have always made fun of the L Word (for example) because it was goofy, educational, and pornographic. But now that I have seen season 5, I take back all my complaints.
In season 5 (2008) the L Word is like, “anyone still watching us must really like goofy educational pornography, so we are going to run with that.” The ingenue becomes evil, the billionaire almost gets raped in a prison shower by an old lady, and the ex-prostitute runs through a wedding reception with her crack showing after banging the bride’s sisters and mother. Marlee Matlin teaches the viewer American Sign Language. There is no token male and the token straight girl never has sex. The treacherous Floridian nightclub owner has a catchphrase: “I’m Dawn Denbo and this is my lover Cindy.” Token straight girl sneaks up on Dawn Denbo and is about to assassinate her (with a handgun) when she is interrupted by her ringtone, which is the voice of her baby niece.
the recession will go away if all Americans start their own businesses
Some people decorate their houses creatively; some people make money creatively; some people aren’t creative at all. NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman thinks that in our exciting new economy, only those in the second camp will be able to eat—and he seems to be cool with this. Sure, not all of us are superstar hustlers, but that’s just because we have bad educations. If public schools start teaching “entrepreneurship, innovation and creativity” then wealth disparity will melt.
What inspired Friedman to blame poverty on uncreativeness?
“A Washington lawyer friend recently told me about layoffs at his firm. I asked him who was getting axed. He said it was interesting: lawyers who were used to just showing up and having work handed to them were the first to go because with the bursting of the credit bubble, that flow of work just isn’t there. But those who have the ability to imagine new services, new opportunities and new ways to recruit work were being retained.”
Another interesting factoid about laid off lawyers: lots of them are recent graduates who would’ve been laid off plus punched in the face if they’d told a partner that they wanted to change how he practiced law.
I guess the Friedmanian solution is to start our own firm. Clients will love us because we’re cheap, we tweet, and our memory of Introduction to American Legal History is way sharper than those old experienced guys’.
Or here’s a less dangerous idea: since America is wealthy but there’s not a lot of work to go around, we should distribute the wealth according to some other metric besides work. Niceness, maybe, or funniness. And we should give everyone a few sandwiches per day just for being themselves.
UPDATE: here’s an anti-Friedman rant from a lawyer who survived layoffs at her firm. She refuses “to fall into the trap of blaming all the people who had to lose their jobs to justify my own privileged position[.]”
Tom Brady should be in charge of the war in Afghanistan
I think that there is far too much work done in the world [and] that immense harm is caused by the belief that work is virtuous. …
Good nature is, of all moral qualities, the one that the world needs most, and good nature is the result of ease and security, not of a life of arduous struggle.
Bertrand Russell, “In Praise of Idleness”
Empathy has a proper place in other areas of life [besides law], such as medicine or charitable work.
He’s wrong. Empathy corrupts the practice of medicine and charity, too.
Doctors need to assess, treat, and advise patients unsentimentally. If they don’t, they end up briefly killing patients in order to scam them to the top of the heart donor list; and the patient dies anyway, after which the doctor gets a brain tumor.
Similarly, empathy cripples charity workers. They have to deny food to some people in order to give it to others, suck up to image-conscious donors, and keep ex-con clients in line by torturing them. It follows that only the most reptilian game player can succeed at helping people.
Empathy is a cancer on ALL professions, not just law.
let children ass-paddle each other
An elementary school principal in rural South Carolina smacks wayward students on the ass with a paddle and receives thoughtful attention from Newsweek.
From what I remember, little kids can be nasty. They insult one another, draw on shoes and desks, secretly tape record school librarians who swear at them, and giggle while waiting in line for chocolate milk during Silent Lunch. So hey, principals, do what you need to do. But here’s an even better idea than ass-paddling children: let children ass-paddle each other.
When a child commits a behavioral error, he is not only hurting himself but all of the children around him. Like a teacher in the article says, “I don’t think it’s right for kids to take away from the instructed time.” Like youth, or cheese left out in the sun, instructed time can never be recovered. The next best way to compensate the bad kid’s victims is to let them take turns smacking him on the ass with a paddle.
Also this way kids can learn not only fear of authority, but fear of everyone. We’ve all heard the stories of excellent teenagers who suddenly misbehave in college. It’s because they’re not scared enough. No authority figures around. Well, if they’re afraid of everyone then voila! They will behave forever.
consequences for helping out scumbags in exchange for massive loot?
Besides getting herself appointed to the US Senate by being a Woman with Strong Appeal Upstate, Kirsten Gillibrand is also a lawyer who used to represent Philip Morris. Above the Law makes fun of people who care:
As an associate, especially a “superstar” associate as Gillibrand appears to have been, you work for the partners and represent the clients they tell you to represent. It’s really not that complicated.
Understood! But wouldn’t the world be a better place if all ambitious people refused to help out sleazy companies because they knew the Times would bite them for it later? “Superstars” might have to spend all their time working for legit causes.
